provoke

I am telling you my side of the story so you understand this—I am not a good a person when I am beautiful. I don’t want it to be so important — but I think it’s important to you, as guys, so it’s important to me. And this is my story, not every woman’s and I’m sure there are plenty of beautiful women who are not like me either. But when I’m beautiful—or close to beautiful—it’s all I think about. When I’m beautiful and I’m with you, I’m wondering if the guy across the room thinks I’m beautiful. I think beauty is going to connect us; but I’m not connecting with you, I’m connecting with a beautiful image of myself that I think you might like. It sucks. It sucks for both of us.

      a post on trying to look beautiful one’s entire life, and the consequences

goodmenproject:

Men deserve more voices talking for them, writes GirlWritesWhat, and that’s why she’s doing it.

I’m not a traditionalist woman. I’m bisexual. I’m kind of a dirty old man when it comes to my attitudes about sex, and I’m masculine enough in some ways to pull it off without ever having been burdened with the label of slut. Moreover, I write erotic fiction, much of it with bi-male and bi-female themes (and no, I’m not telling any of you all my pen name, so don’t bother asking). Though I was a stay-at-home mom for the first five years of my marriage, and though I found that role fulfilling and the work intrinsically valuable, I did not feel myself again until I got back into the paid workforce. I am the last person on earth who would wish to return to the world of a hundred years ago.

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onehundreddates:

Check it out everyone! The Good Men Project ran my post from last week about my mother. This is the first thing I’ve ever submitted to an outside publication and it’s actually up! I’m so proud. You didn’t raise the worst writer ever, Mom!

goodmenproject:

Pop Culture Is Killing Us

I’ve Got the T-Shirt and the Trauma Response to Go With It

The Happy Hour Miscarriage in Paradise

My Ex-Wife’s Wedding: Best. Wedding….

goodmenproject:

A response to the argument of Schroedinger’s Rapist and an examination of anti-black racism. 

This morning I made a reference to the fact that men are often assumed to be potential rapists as an example of how sexism negatively affects men as well as women. The argument, commonly referred to as “Schroedinger’s Rapist”, goes something like this: because you can’t know for sure if the stranger approaching you in a dark alley or other unsafe place is a rapist or not, it is generally a good idea to be on your guard. Men can enhance their interactions with women by being aware of this mindset, and adjusting their own behaviour accordingly.

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goodmenproject:

Tom Matlack gives a very personal account of Civil Rights in a time and place where not much was civil–Mississippi, 1964

One hot summer night in 1964 my twenty-six year old father drove a borrowed car down a dark road in Mississippi. He could hear the chirping of the cicadas, the swish of the tires on the road, and above them all, the thumping of his heart. Dad was driving back across the state, through counties known for violence against local blacks, desperately trying to get home. His borrowed car was leaking oil profusely.

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